Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Just stuff

After going to pull on some of my pants over the weekend and them not fitting (or fitting how I liked) I decided I need to get more serious about getting back on track.  Boy, how easy it is to get off track and keep going.  However, I don't like how this feels.  I want my shorts and pants to feel like they did last summer right after I made goal.  So while I've been back to tracking again, yesterday was my first day in actually staying within my points.  Yes, it's great to track but when you're consistently 5-9 points over your target, it seemed kind of useless.  I also just got back from the gym.  I went and walked 2 miles on the treadmill and then did 2 miles on the stationary bike.  It feels good.
My stress level is off the charts these days.  I'm pretty sure Emma's Mom will be moving out at the end of July which means she'll be taking the joy of my life away.  Right now, I'm hurting so bad I can't even have a conversation with her.  I'm taking Emma every second I have and cherishing those moments but I find myself breaking into tears constantly when she's not here.  It will about kill me not to see and have her every day. I can't even express how much I love her.  She truly does bring so much joy to my life every day.  I'm angry beyond words with her parents.  More her Mom because I do see my son working on things and trying.  It seems no matter how much he does it's not enough.  I'm just literally sick over it all.
Just my thoughts as of late....hoping writing them might release some of the stress but honestly I doubt it.

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